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About feeling guilty

Today I’ve been thinking about feeling guilty being alive. Ever had that? I surely had…but why?

As I was researching my own neurodiversity and reflecting on my behaviors, which caused me so much conflict in the past, mostly because the way I express my thoughts and feelings often comes across as rude, „robotic“, offensive, etc. to other people, I found myself feeling a lot of guilt towards my loved ones, since my way of communicating caused a lot of arguments in the past and present. These days I’m aware of that, though. This led me to spiral down the self-guilt-trip about forcing myself into other peoples lives and make them experience these stupid kind of conflicts over and over again, which I unintentionally inflicted and in general just about being alive.

Yes, this is certainly some irrational, self-pity, „poor-me-mimimi“ kind of behavior, and not my actual conclusion, so excuse my whining…


Io Libido! Aaayyy!

Spare me your phony
Vanilla sex testimony

Obviously, since it’s clearly society’s accountability 
To intervene in promiscuous teens sexuality
Leading to increase in abnormativity
Seems to appear as the reason, your libido seemingly ceases
To minus degrees

Simultaneously, during a fifteen or sixteen years period
People just couldn’t achieve even nearly
A reasonable speed in deliberate feedings of fear
Or insanity, yet you are here
Yet you are here

Yet you’re feeling, indeed
Simply out of the need
To believe in an reason
With deviant meanings
You see the hypocrisy?
It’s not that deep
Since you’re being unreasonable
Secretly breeding your brain in your wiener
And seeking intimacy facing a screen

By the prime time your seed
Will become obsolete